diary

Diary :
10/5/09
Dear diary:
now 14 days 28 min & 8 seconds after my mothers death i decided to believe that my mums death is because of me ,maybe i didn't put enough pressure on her, maybe because i didn't take it seriously.
I'm scared mummy i need you & every time i look at the door of your bed room i fink i hear you mum ,& every time i go for a walk with Ellen i think i see you waving at me from the window.
Am i going crazy?
I fink Jason thinks I'm a Loony & the only reason he didn't break with me is that he pi
ttys me.
Maybe Ellen thinks that I'm also a loony?
I feel like the world is spinning with everyone inside it but I'm the only one that's not spinning with it.
I wish mum could read this and respond.



12/5/09
Dear diary:
I Had a weired dream it was about mum she was alive i could touch her.
There is a party today & Jason wants to take me but i don't know if i want to go should i?


12/5/09-13/5/09
Dear diary its almost 13/5 & i went to the party & i had allot of fun.
Maybe Jason does love & so does Ellen i think fings are starting to come back together!